He Will Never Be Your Boyfriend If He Can’t Even Answer Your Texts

A girl texting
Unsplash / Annie Spratt

You keep coming up with excuses for why it has been taking him so damn long to answer a simple text when you know he has seen it.

You want him to like you, you want him to become your boyfriend, so you give him the benefit of the doubt. You tell yourself he probably has a perfectly good reason for ignoring you the last eight hours.

You are lying to yourself. You’re seeing what you want to see. Deep down, you already know that.

Take a minute to view the situation realistically. Think of your own thought process. When you get a text, two different things can happen. You either look at the screen, get excited about the name that has popped onto it, and type out a text immediately.

Or you glance at your phone, skim the message, and leave it unopened for hours (maybe even days) because you couldn’t care less about continuing the conversation.

If he hasn’t texted you back, then you have fallen into the latter group for him. Texting you is not high on his list of priorities.

To answer the questions that have been pounding at the back of your head:

Yes, he has seen your text.

Yes, he knows you’re waiting for a response.

But no, he doesn’t care. Not enough.

Maybe he has been busy. Maybe he has been swamped with work. Maybe he has a family member dealing with health issues. Maybe he keeps forgetting to charge his phone overnight.

Any of those things could technically be true — but think about when you use those same excuses. Don’t you use them more with friends that you have lost touch with, friends you aren’t eager to see anytime soon? It’s rare to use those excuses with people you are excited about getting to know better, because those are the texts you actually answer.

You don’t leave someone waiting if you care about them. You would do anything to talk to them. You would contact them during your lunch break, during your train ride home from work, while you’re brushing your teeth or while you’re half-watching television. 

If you cared enough, then you would find the time. You wouldn’t wait weeks to talk to them because you wouldn’t be able to wait that long. The temptation would be too much. You wouldn’t be able to control yourself.

If he can’t even answer your texts within the same day, then he is never going to be your boyfriend.

Think about how easy it is to send a text. If he won’t put in the effort to slide his phone out of his pocket and type a sentence to let you know he’s listening, do you really think he’ll put in the effort to plan dates and wash dishes and remember your anniversary?

The truth you don’t want to hear is: You’re better off without him. You’re better off waiting until you find someone who makes time for you, whether it’s face-to-face or over the phone. TC mark

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